Were you honestly hoping there'd be a list? I knew it!
Lists are the number 1 trendiest thing right now! Lists of trends are a trend in and of themselves. A prominent trend among a potpourri of trends this summer that seem to be mutating and escalating and imploding in on themselves all around us. TRENDS.
Is it just me or is this the trendiest summer of all time?
From Swan Floats to Rosé to the english language devolving to a place where we either communicate entirely in List Form or we just don't finish sentences, we just add the first part of a sentence to pictures that embody an emotion, i.e. the ever popular "this float shaped like a bottle of rosé has us like.... (insert GIF of happy animal)"
IT HAD YOU LIKE WHAT? WHAT DID IT HAVE?
I admit it, I may be getting too old for the internet. Daphne is loving it. Trends are her native tongue.
Thursday night had Daphne like...
I'm telling you, the more you think about it, the more you realize how much pop culture has enhanced and abbreviated it's gestation period. Trends are happening faster and more furiously than ever before and everyone is eating it up.
If you're looking for me you'll find me beneath a "Do Not Disturb" embroidered beach hat, drinking White Girl Rosé, covered in FlashTats, re-gramming someone else's joke about how they had "A salad for dinner, mostly just croutons and tomatoes, mostly just one big crouton covered in tomatoes. And cheese. Ok a pizza. I had a pizza for dinner" Don't lie. You know you saw that same joke ten times this week floating around the internet and loved it all ten times too.
Speaking of pizza for dinner, and thus of gluten, the Lord Voldemort of 2015, let's take a moment with everyone's favorite trend. Hating Gluten. Do you hate gluten or do you hate gluten!? It was ruining your life, right???
Although, to be honest, Daphne and I will never really embrace this trend. If you could somehow make a truffle fry out of bread/cheese, we'd be interested in knowing more about that...
You know what else is trendy?
Pockets. Pockets are having a moment. Pockets may be the next rosé. Rosé called Pocket Square Rosé could potentially break western civilization by next summer. How much do you wish I knew how to produce t-shirts with botanical pockets?
If you're a t-shirt production company looking for new business, call me!
Seriously, walk outside. If you don't see a man with his surprisingly luscious hair swept up into a Man Bun, while wearing a t-shirt with a different pattern/color pocket sewn on the front, go back inside immediately because this means something is drastically wrong with wherever you are. Trendsters are like animals, they are the first to sense when something is over/about to become catastrophically dangerous. Mainly just when things are over, but still. Be extra careful.
I'm not kidding. Go look for pockets. You'll see them everywhere.
And for good measure, before I leave you. Here's a list of current trends. please feel free to help me make it an even longer list. Because what's better than a list? A Long List.
We already know the essentials: