well its been a long journey but i've finally arrived at a conclusion. afterall its halloween eve, and i better settle on a costume or consider psychiatry for my inability to make a decision. it came down to either carmen miranda (a la fruit hat) or a mormon sister wife. couldn't be more random right? no, these two choices actually are representative of deep rooted issues i have with a fear of open man repelling. crazy, you say? let me explain...
here in dc, we are forced to closet our interest in high fashion/man repelling. like suppressed russian intellectuals who tucked their rebellious literature inside the pages of government sanctioned texts to spead the flames of revolution, we too must cloak our man repelling tendencies in ulterior motives of halloween costumes. (i realize, i may have made this up about the russians... but you know what i mean... right?)
yes, i only wanted to be carmen miranda because i thought that my fruit hat could be built on a turband
. and then i would finally get to have a fabulous man repelling turband of my very own at last.
and i only wanted to be a mormon sister wife because i knew they wore giant long maxi skirts
and oxford man shoes and had huge puffy top knot
you see, both options were ways to sneakily express my desire to be a man repeller without getting accused of openly flaunting my extremely fine tuned fashion sense and facing potential social suicide/never being allowed to go back to jetties
in the end, i went the mormon route. the costume incorporated more hidden fashionable and repellent trends which is the ultimate goal. i'll be sure to tell you how many girls compliment me on my amazing oxford shoes and how few men offer to buy me drinks in a recap on monday!
so in closing, i thank you for bearing with my week long ode to halloween and wish you a great weekend - hopefully free of any major costume disasters/nipple-slips!