February 2015: The Tea Cup Smuggler

February 01, 2015 7 Comments

4:30 am.

Every morning Elspeth walks the fifteen frigid blocks from her apartment to the Flower District to scout the best selection of flowers before sunrise. She loses herself amongst the cut amaryllis, Indian shell ginger in full bloom, frothy fields of maidenhead ferns, the riotous bursts of giant dahlias. These quiet, cold, predawn walks amongst delicate living things is a form of ritual for Elspeth. She loves the way she can feel the flowers souls vibrating like the chords of a violin, still alive with the energy drawn across their sinews by a bow. 

She loves the way that flowers saturate the air with sweetness, with freshness, even in their hour of death. These exquisite creatures are, after all, recently executed. Shorn from their stalks, plucked from the earth, deprived of the precise and mysterious balance of light and soil and water that keeps them flourishing and then packed on ice and flown like severed limbs by medivac planes to be admired after death, here in New York City. A place so cold and dark and dirty that none of these lovely species could ever have occurred naturally. 

Elspeth stands transfixed by this thought. This sweetness of death and all that it represents, a cloud of nihilism settling over her until she spots a perky garden rose bush, still nestled in its rich organic soil. This one is living, she thinks lovingly, as she touches its hopeful blooms. Yes the potted variety still has a chance. A chance for a few more days of life until, of course they are sent off to their certain death in the hands of their soon-to-be owners. Drunk girls leaving Market Table and Blue Ribbon and happening up on her shop, squealing with glee “Omg succulents!” only to take them home and forget them when they become hidden under a discarded equipment blouse after a particularly champagne-soaked night out. 

Light is beginning to soften the dark communion she has been lost in with her blooms and she knows soon the other florists and plant vendors will begin stalking her prey. She hurries to grab up all the supplies she needs for her busy day and rushes back into the hum of city life. Her arms are heaped with orchids and cotton branches and she struggles to collect everything she needs, not even noticing as her vintage needlepointed eyeglass case slips from her bag and falls beneath the hopeful rosebush.

She dashes off to her flower shop, The Tea Cup Smuggler, on Carmine Street to begin the day. One of the biggest days of the year for a florist. February 14th. Valentine’s Day.

Shudder. It’s such a cliche, isn’t it? The perpetually single yet hauntingly beautiful bookworm, who hates Valentine’s Day, is a florist.

Elspeth was born in Copenhagen to celebrity florist parents Emil and Peter Eijck who cultivated a coveted strain of the Semper Augustus tulip worth hundreds of thousands of dollars per bulb, traded exclusively through Christie’s. Their cavernous and rumored-to-be-haunted greenhouses were hallowed ground. Considered members of Netherlands most elite echelon of society, Emil and Peter and their baby daughter, Elspeth lived the life of luxury in a five story fully sun-powered townhouse made entirely of glass planes, decades before the green movement and sustainable home building would become popular. 

However, all good things must come to an end. Emil and Peter got caught up in some very nasty insider trading in the late 80s and had no choice but to flee their beloved country for America, entering as unknowns, exiled pilgrims starting over from scratch in order to save their lives. 

They packed only one suitcase and it was filled with their precious bulbs, a few pieces of Emil’s grandmother’s silver and the original sketches of the plans for Vermeer’s Girl With The Pearl Earring and, their sweet daughter, Elspeth’s needlepointed eyeglass case, which had been handmade for her by Emil while she was pregnant.

Emil said she knew that her child would be born nearly blind because the greenhouse ghosts had spoken to her in the form of a prophecy and she she began right away, needlepointing a case for her child's eyeglasses. The case was done in bright, lively colors so that her baby would be able to see it easily and bore the design of three pretty little teacups.

When the Eijcks entered the states after their nerve-wracking voyage with forged passports, the customs officer looked suspiciously at their one suitcase. What’s in the bag ma’am? He asked, poking it aggressively.

Emil, desperate not to disturb her precious bulbs and/or be imprisoned for dozens of infractions ranging from money laundering and mob involvement to passport fraud to entering a country with live active plant life, offered up the first thought that came to mind to protect what little she had left of her former life. “Only teacups sir. Please do not poke them, they’re very fragile!”

The man was bewitched by her dutch accent and the pleading look in her beautiful eyes and, not wanting to be the reason this lovely woman would begin crying if her teacups shattered, let them move on without inspecting further. 

With a legacy like the Eijck tulip mafia hanging over Elspeth’s head, she had little chance of growing up to become anything but a florist. And little chance of avoiding the annual pain of February 14th as each year she would greet the dreaded holiday, single and shivering in the winter darkness to go gather beautiful, massacred flowers for men to give to other women. 


Fred had watched the forlorn redheaded beauty every morning for what felt like forever. He loved the ritual of seeing her come to the flower stalls, speak softly to the buds and then hurry off before sunrise from his perch in a 24/7 indian deli across the street. The only place he claimed he could work. He would sit for hours in the window, the deli’s only customer, sketching passers by. Many mornings, his sketches would turn out to be the flower girl. Always distracted, pushing her horn-rimmed glasses up her nose, gathering bouquets of jasmine vine and seeded eucalyptus. It never occurred to him to go across the street and say hello. It was too early, he’d tell himself. No one made small talk at 5 am. 

Until today. Today, he saw a sadness in her that felt more significant than other mornings. He sensed almost certainly that she wished someone would speak to her in the very moment he spotted her, looking intently at a rose bush. He shuffled his sketches together into his leather case and was fishing for change to pay for his tea, finally summoning the determination to go say something, anything, to her. But when he looked up she was gone. 

He walked across the street anyway, stopping before the rosebush, peering one way and then the next but there was no sign of her long red hair. Sighing, he turned to walk home to his West Village studio, when his toe nudged something. A needlepointed glasses case with three faded, but visible teacups stitched across it. Fred was not one to pick up other peoples things, but he felt like this might just belong to the girl. Maybe he’d see her again and return it to her, finally a reason to speak to her. Maybe she’d come back for it, maybe even today!

This idea gave him hope and he promptly trotted back to the deli, ordered more tea and camped out in his window to wait for her, sketching with a newly inflamed fury and intensity. Cold February light slid across his sketchbooks, turning the shadows longer and longer until night had fallen. He had sat in the window all day, but she’d never come back. Discouraged, he left the shop, leather case brimming with sketches and began his walk back to Carmine street. 


6:59 pm. 

Elspeth is exhausted. The line of men (and a few frazzled interns) had been unending for twelve hours. People barking orders at her while they multitasked and texted - more roses, NOTHING yellow, she hates lilies! take out those oleanders, add hydrangeas, what do you mean ranunculus aren’t in season!?! 

She had thrown herself into the task of creating other people’s tokens of love all day. Feeling more and more angry with each one. These men had to have their flowers, how desperately they urged her to hurry with their bouquets. And yet she knew that after the initial shout of happiness and the well earned kiss, these would be forgotten and unwatered by the women who received them, withered and then tossed out with the cartons of seamless food orders. 

This isn’t for me, she thought. I’ll never love a man who only brings flowers one day a year. I’ll love a man who tends a garden year round.

Emil had been shocked and horrified by the American tradition of Valentine’s Day when she arrived in New York. She had always told Elspeth that a man who buys flowers on February 14th wasn’t exhibiting a true sign of love, he was conforming to a national stereotype. 

I’ll love a man who mends broken pieces of my heart, she thought as she turned the sign on the door of The Tea Cup Smuggler from OPEN to CLOSED. I’ll love a man who finds pieces I didn’t know I’d lost and carries them home to me. 

Just then Fred appeared, windblown and frozen, in the light of her shop window, peering with a face of expectant recognition at her logo, painted across the shop window of three teacups all in a row. Elspeth began to motion in exasperation at her CLOSED sign, determined not to serve yet another man his yearly dose of flowers, when she stopped, gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth. 

There he stood, at her door, with her needlepointed glasses case in his frozen hands. Three teacups all in a row. A piece of her heart, she hadn’t known she was missing. 

Posted in 2105 calendar, February, NYC

Ferocious February

February 01, 2014 4 Comments


We made it through January, it's time to flip the page to a new month and slip into something a little racier, grab your pet jungle cat and head out to a three martini lunch. Why not? This is the wonderful world of illustration and anything is possible!

This sketch is an ode to the kind of woman who doesn't return emails, who elopes or just adopts a british accent for the day. There's something so feminine about being a little bit crazy and unpredictable - a little bit like a jungle cat. It is something I can't claim to have any kind of mastery of as a type A, practical, obsessively organized person. But I do admire it in others while I am remembering to always switch out my Britta water filter every 90 days.

This sketch was born out of these three images, and of course my admiration for all things whimsical and powerfully feminine.


Posted in 2014 calendar, February, Inslee By Design, jungle cat, The Sketch Book

Croissant love month

February 01, 2013 12 Comments

Happy February! Or as it will now be known, croissant love month. Why not?

I really don't know how this image ties into anything that has to do with winter or the month of February. I guess she's wearing red for Valentine's day. But regardless of her seasonal relevance, I really like her and her croissants.

Which is rare.

Usually I hate the illustrations I create after I finish them. I'm such a tortured artist. But I actually like her! And am pretty excited about this month!

Get out there and start the weekend right, go wild with pain au chocolat



Posted in 2013, Calendar, February, Inslee By Design, Inslee Haynes, The Sketch Book

Happy February

February 01, 2012 3 Comments

Time to change the calendar! This month's illustration is inspired by a beautiful cashmere look by Michael Koors and of course by my love of artfully arranged bookshelves. Or, rather I should say, by my hatred of formula-induced bookshelves. You know, when you walk into someones home and the book shelves are scattered with African artifacts that bring out the browns in the carpet (even though they've never been to Africa) and entire volumes of books that you sense are there simply for color (not because the owner has read them). That is the worst. It takes years to create a real, living bookshelf filed with beloved artifacts - kind of like a good pinterest board. These sort of records of one's life don't happen over night. Ok, Happy February!

Posted in 2012, Calender, February, Inslee By Design, Michael Koors, The Sketch Book

Happy February

February 01, 2011 2 Comments

Yipeeeee time to change your calendar again! Last year I started off February by telling everyone how I don't like the month in general. and I am here today to say... February, I'm sorry. I was being closed-minded and judgmental. You really aren't so bad. I mean, what is so bad about one last month of the depths of winter to make sure you got proper use out of your furry black hats and awesome heeled boots? And if it were all hot and sunny out, girlfriend above wouldn't have needed to travel with her entire fleet of suitcases. Any jetsetter worth her salt knows bikinis don't exactly fill up a valise the way extravagantly over-sized sweater can. And don't get me started on traveling with multiple pairs of OTK boots... might as well get a steamer trunk. Plus, would we love the spring nearly as much if we hadn't frozen through those extra 28 days? I think not. February is alright by me. In fact, from the rosy vantage point of this moment in time, I dare to say, I haven't really met a month I don't like.

Posted in 2011 Calendar, Calendar, February, Inslee By Design, News and Events, otk boots, spring, travel, winter

only 26 more days till march!

February 01, 2010 2 Comments

Happy February! I wanted to post the 2010 February Calendar page today as its the beginning of the month. And to remind you that you've only missed one month of my 2010 calendar and its still not too late to jump on the bandwagon if you haven't yet! That being said, I have never been a fan of February, this miserable little footnote to January during which I am always lured into buying the first batch of tempting spring clothes which I will hate by the time its warm enough to wear them. Aside from a few people whom I am glad to know who could not help but be born in this month, I can't think of any redeeming qualities to having an extra winter month thrown in the mix. I really am so opposed to February that it was actually the last one I drew for the calendar. I couldn't think up anything I like to do enough in this month to glorify by illustration. I was stumped... and getting angry just thinking about the fact that February was looming on the distant horizon of the next year. But luckily I have a wonderfully creative coterie of friends. And one particularly clever individual named "X"... no really... came up with this idea for my February illustration. She reminded me that even though I plan to spend most of the next 26 days growing steadily more frustrated by my winter wardrobe, Feb is a nice excuse to hibernate with hot chocolate and good reading material. (Ideally magazines filled with clothes I should not buy until it is over 60 degrees out) So thank you to X for making this month seem a little more bearable!

Posted in Calendar, February, The Sketch Book