Here is a lady who is part cheetah. As you can imagine, she’s pretty self conscious most of the year. Until halloween rolls around...
Like the cheetah woman, I too was a self conscious child. I didn’t say much. I was too busy judging. I held myself and everyone else to the unobtainable standards of my vivid imagination and therefore was pretty consistently displeased with everyone around me all the time.
Why did no one have a mermaid tail? Why couldn’t we all wear white cowboy boots year round? Why were tights worn on the legs, not on the head? Why couldn’t anyone design a backless gown for a 5 year old?
I actually invented the McKayla Maroney face about 20 years before she even tried it.
I also invented the backless childrens gown. It’s called don’t let you mom zip up your dresses. Instead tie a headband around your waist to keep them on. So Chic.
Had I not had my outlet of drawing, I think I would have combusted from my frustration with the frumpy world. Illustration is one of the ways i learned to cope with my disappointment in people’s sizes/shapes/lack-of-mermaid-tails. Well, illustration and Halloween, that is.
Halloween was the day each year that I could finally hope to shine. (don’t worry, I continued to be disappointed by everyone else. Witch costumes? Come on)
I embraced the fantasy of dressing up with unparalleled vigor. I deliberated for weeks about what “to be” and sketched elaborate costume designs which I then expected would be replicated exactly to my specifications. I even went so far as to have my mother order traditional clogs from Belgium because they were an essential component of my Halloween spent as a “dutch child”...
You know that old saying that goes something like “think of the thing you do when you’re procrastinating. that thing should be your day job” well, if someone had reminded me of my obsession with the magic held in creative costuming, they could have saved me a lot of stress when attempting to find a career path.
Fashion illustration is one big game of dress up & make believe. I’m so glad I get to bring a little bit of the magic of halloween into my grownup career.
This perfect fall holiday calls for a foliage post. I mean when I think about halloween I think of pumpkins, costumes, and leaves crunching underfoot.
BUT there are no red leaves in New York. What is going on? It snowed on Saturday, but the leaves are still green! How is this possible? Must get to the bottom of this New York weather mystery...
well its been a long journey but i've finally arrived at a conclusion. afterall its halloween eve, and i better settle on a costume or consider psychiatry for my inability to make a decision. it came down to either carmen miranda (a la fruit hat) or a mormon sister wife. couldn't be more random right? no, these two choices actually are representative of deep rooted issues i have with a fear of open man repelling. crazy, you say? let me explain...
here in dc, we are forced to closet our interest in high fashion/man repelling. like suppressed russian intellectuals who tucked their rebellious literature inside the pages of government sanctioned texts to spead the flames of revolution, we too must cloak our man repelling tendencies in ulterior motives of halloween costumes. (i realize, i may have made this up about the russians... but you know what i mean... right?)
yes, i only wanted to be carmen miranda because i thought that my fruit hat could be built on a turband
. and then i would finally get to have a fabulous man repelling turband of my very own at last.
and i only wanted to be a mormon sister wife because i knew they wore giant long maxi skirts
and oxford man shoes and had huge puffy top knot
you see, both options were ways to sneakily express my desire to be a man repeller without getting accused of openly flaunting my extremely fine tuned fashion sense and facing potential social suicide/never being allowed to go back to jetties
in the end, i went the mormon route. the costume incorporated more hidden fashionable and repellent trends which is the ultimate goal. i'll be sure to tell you how many girls compliment me on my amazing oxford shoes and how few men offer to buy me drinks in a recap on monday!
so in closing, i thank you for bearing with my week long ode to halloween and wish you a great weekend - hopefully free of any major costume disasters/nipple-slips!
this morning on the today show, or as i like to call it the lady show, everyone was all in a dither about the possibility of a wedding between prince william and kate middleton. so naturally, being one of the many stay-at-home ladies whose morning usually involves catching a solid two hours of today show silliness, i went and googled this kate middleton to see what shes been up to. and boy was i jealous. not only is she totally going to marry william (my internal six year old is still hardwired to do everything in my power to stop this from happening), but she gets to wear all sorts of completely ridiculous hats all the time (my inner blair waldorf desperately wants to wear more fluffy hats)
so if i was the type of person who let their many inner selves shine through, i'd probably want to be kate middleton for halloween and/or the rest of my life.
I know what your thinking, I've ruled out the ugly funny costume ideas so far. I must be heading towards sexy nurse right? Time to buy a children's XL costume and some thigh high stockings? Meet me at the tanning salon and then we can go get our stethoscopes and fake eyelashes? Or perhaps something a little darker?
But sadly no, I cannot pull this off. Something about all the freckles really just makes me totally non-threatening. I do have one wonderfully dangerous friend who manages to work form fitting leather and red lipstick into her wardrobe year round, and if I've learned anything from her predisposition to violent biting it is that acting the part is of utmost importance. If you don't feel at home being seductive, don't bother trying on the bustier. The search continues...
So some people lose their competitive edge as they get older when it comes to coming up with the best Halloween costume idea ever. I am not some people. I would be lying if I said I haven't been deliberating about my outfit since September, maybe even August. But in spite of my weeks of internal strife, I still haven't made a decision and its time to try a new approach. Instead of thinking about what I DO want to be, today I am ruling out all those things I DON'T want to be. Number one on this list is...
GIANT PUMPKIN. As much as I respect the concept of blurring the lines between 24 months old and 24 years old when it comes to Halloween costume ideas, this one really is just not going to happen.
October is in my estimation the best month of the year. The weather is perfect for wearing fall and winter clothes without actually needing them for their warmth. You finally can put away all the tired summer stuff and luxuriate in sweaters because they're brand new not because your turning blue from frost bite. And boots for boots sake, not because there's an inch of sludge on the sidewalks.... heavenly. Plus its finally time to start baking and drinking hot coffee again and as if this all isn't enough there are colorful leaves falling everywhere and you get to wear Halloween costumes. Best month, end of story.